Love.Letting Go.Acceptance

There is nothing wrong in loving someone. You may be able to bear the pain when love begins to hurt. And when it hurts, you may still be able to give even more. You may be even able to love until it hurts no more. But what good does it bring you when the person you love shows no respect for what you feel and makes lame excuses for his inability to love you back. Love isn't love until you give away. But love will only have life when it is shared by two people who believe in its meaning, by people who share one goal, one commitment, and by people who are selflessly loyal to each other.

There should always be a reason to fight for someone we love. A reason to hope for something that we believe in and a reason to be brave and face our fears. Do not be afraid to face the day when you will see him in someone else’s arms. It sometimes hurt when we expect too much. So, just be happy and thankful that you still get to see each other at least once in every friendly get together dinner.

I have always believed that there is a reason and a season for everything. You realized how much someone meant to you only after you have hurt him. Now, it is you who you are made to feel that pain in a different way. Experience is our greatest teacher . Do not let one man keep you from moving on. Your tomorrow is something that you owe yourself, not him. Learn from your mistakes and live your life avoiding them so that you may find what you have lost and never lose it again.

God's ways aren't always easy and painless. Some are meant to open our eyes to what we do not see. Some are meant to make us realize what we stubbornly refuse to understand. But all of them will always be meant to make us stronger and better persons. We just have to trust Him on that.

You may find your way to the farthest planet and still remember him. Distance has little to do with forgetting. This healing should begin in your heart. Acceptance is the first step to recovery. Once you have learned to understand that this is where it ends then it is the only time when you will learn how to move on with life without having to stop every time you are reminded of the bitterness of the past.

We may stumble and hurt those we love but there is no mountain so high that love cannot climb over. There is no sea so wide that it cannot cross. Let us always remember that when there is love there is forgiveness and when there is forgiveness there is a hope for a new life, a new beginning and a promise of a beautiful forever.

Max Jerry Horowitz 5th letter to Mary Daisy Dinkle

Dear Mary,

Please find enclosed my entire Noblet collection     as a sign that I forgive you.     When I received your book, the emotions inside my brain     felt like they were in a tumble dryer, smashing into each other.     The hurt felt like when I accidentally stapled my lips together.     Ow!     The reason I forgive you is because you are not perfect.     You are imperfect, and so am I.     All humans are imperfect,     even the man outside my apartment who litters. 

When I was young, I wanted to be anybody but myself.     Dr Bernard Hazelhof said if I was on a desert island     then I would have to get used to my own company     just me and the coconuts.     He said I would have to accept myself, my warts and all,     and that we don't get to choose our warts.     They are a part of us and we have to live with them.     We can, however, choose our friends     and I am glad I have chosen you.     Dr Bernard Hazelhof also said     that everyone's lives are like a very long sidewalk.     Some are well paved. Others, like mine,     have cracks, banana skins and cigarette butts.     Your sidewalk is like mine but probably not as many cracks.     Hopefully, one day our sidewalks will meet     and we can share a can of condensed milk. 

You are my best friend. You are my only friend. 

Your American penpal,

Max Jerry Horowitz

PS. I have recently found the perfect job with a survey company.     All I have to do is eat things and tick boxes.

Damian Popodopolous' letter to Mary Daisy Dinkle

My dearest Mary,

By the time you read this, I will be on a plane to New Zealand to begin a new life. You probably haven 't even noticed I'd packed my bags. I have fallen in love with my penfriend, Desmond, and I'm going to live on his sheep farm. It's been hard to watch you become a remnant of the person I once loved. Your research into m-m-mental illness has been admirable but your i-idealistic pursuit to remedy it has been misguided.

Mary, you have to realise y-you are not a magic beauty cream you can smooth on the world to rid it of its wrinkles. I love you, Mary, but I love Desmond more. I hope one day your heart will heal and we can be friends.

Yours compassionately,

Damian

Max Jerry Horowitz 4th letter to Mary Daisy Dinkle

Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle,

I cannot express myself very clearly at this moment and so I will list my emotions in the order they feel most intense hurt, confuzzledness, betrayal, discomfort, distress and wheeziness. This last one is not really an emotion but I thought you should know about it anyway.

Mary Daisy Dinkle's 6th letter to Max Jerry Horowitz

Dear Max,

I am very proud to give you the very first copy of my book about your disability and the hopes that we have to one day cure it. Even more exciting is that I am finally coming to meet and celebrate with you in one week's time. I'm also going to give you half the royalties.

Your loving friend,

Mary

PS. Please find enclosed some chocolate-coated Swiss almonds.

Mary Daisy Dinkle's 5th letter to Max Jerry Horowitz

Dear Max,

Our wedding day was everything I have ever dreamt, making up for the terrible year I've had. Although all the guests were Damian's family and friends, I felt very welcome. Damian is so perfect. He even made my wedding dress. And for our honeymoon he took me to Mykonos his favourite island in Greece. I got to ride a donkey and found the perfect gift for Len.

Poor Len, he's still struggling with his agoraphobia. Damian and I are so similar. He even has his own penfriend, who lives on a sheep farm in New Zealand.

Mary Daisy Dinkle's 4th letter to Max Jerry Horowitz

Dear Max,

I have been such an idiot. I've wasted all my money on something pointless when I should have been saving to see you. I know love upsets you so I won't go on about it. All I want to say is that love is obviously not for me. I hope you are well and enjoy the chocolate cigarettes I've enclosed.

Love Mary

Max Jerry Horowitz 3rd letter to Mary Daisy Dinkle

Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle,

There is something I have to tell you which will explain why I have not written. Each time I received one of your letters, I had a severe anxiety attack. This is because recently, while I was in a mental institution, they diagnosed that I have a new thing called Asperger's syndrome, which is a neurobiological, pervasive, developmental disability. I prefer "Aspie" for short. I will now list some of the traits of an Aspie.

1 - I find the world very confusing and chaotic because my mind is very literal and logical.

2 - I have trouble understanding the expressions on people's faces. When I was younger, I made a book to help me when I was confused. I still have trouble with some people. Ivy was hard to understand because of her wrinkles and because her eyebrows weren't real.

3 - I have bad handwriting, am hypersensitive... ..clumsy and can get very concerned.

4 - I like solving problems. Ivy said this is a good thing.

And finally No.5 - I have trouble expressing my emotions.

Dr Bernard Hazelhof says my brain is defective but one day there will be a cure for my disability. I do not like it when he says this. I do not feel disabled, defective or I need to be cured. I like being an Aspie. It would be like trying to change the colour of my eyes. There is one thing I wish I could change, however. I wish I could cry properly. I squeeze and squeeze but nothing...comes out. I cry when I cut onions but this does not count.

Anyway, do you like the word "cumquat"? It is a type of fruit. Do you have a favourite-sounding word? My top 5 are ointment, bumblebee, Vladivostok, banana and testicle. I have also invented some new words "confuzzled", which is being confused and puzzled at the same time, "snirt", which is a cross between snow and dirt, and "smushables"... ..which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the bag. I have sent a letter to the Oxford Dictionary people asking them to include my words but I have not heard back.

It is now time for me to go to my Overeaters Anonymous meeting. There is a woman there called Marjorie Buttersworth who confuzzles me. She kisses me without my permission so tonight I have decided to rub onions under my armpits to repel her.

Your friend in America,

Max Jerry Horowitz

PS. Please find enclosed some chocolate-covered ants I found at the deli.

PPS. Not much has happened since I last wrote except for my manslaughter charges, lotto win and lvy's death.

Mary Daisy Dinkle's 3rd letter to Max Jerry Horowitz

Dear Max,

When I told Bernie Clifford I'll be in charge of all the chocolate in heaven and he wouldn't get any, he cried. I also hide'd some dog's poo in his bit of the sandpit. Your advice was great and I've got a job delivering pamphlets so I can save to come and see you. I am sad to hear you are fat. Mum says I am fat too and I'm growing up to be a heifer, which I think is a type of cow. Maybe you should only eat things beginning with the letter of each day. On Mondays you could only eat milkshakes, marshmallows and...mustard. Oooh! For my birthday, my Mum baked a cake and Dad gave me a camera.

I hope you like the photos I sent. The first one is of Ethel, who ate some tinsel. The next one is one of myself after I ate the Chocolate Pop Rocks with the cola, like you said. Next is Len. He's still trying hard not to be afraid of outside and conquer his homophobia. The next one is of dad in his shed, and then one of the times I covered mum while she was asleep in her stickers that help her stop smoking. Next, when I got my slinky caught in my hair. Then one of the times Sonny digged up his wife, Cher. And, finally, a photo of my other neighbour Damian Popodopolous. He's a Greek and smells like lemon dishwashing liquid and his skin is smooth, like the back of a spoon. Mum says he's a wog and has a stutter and can't even say his own surname. She says you have to hit him on the back of the head to get his words out. P-P-P-P...Popodopolous. I wish he was my boyfriend and we can be in love and do sexing like Katherine Ramsay told me behind the bike shed. She said it's when two people go "nuddy" and rub on each other to make babies. I told her she's a liar and would go to hell and burn like toast 'cos babies really come from beer glasses and eggs laid by rabbits and nuns and "prosti-tubes". She said ladies get knocked up and bake babies in their stomachs for 2 years till they spurt out their "vag-eye-ners" with blood and tinned spaghetti.

Have you got a girlfriend, Max, or some wives? Have you done sexing? Valentine's Day is soon and I want to give Damian a present so he can love me. Can you explain love and how I can be "lover'd"?

Max Jerry Horowitz 2nd letter to Mary Daisy Dinkle

Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle,

Thank you for your letter, chocolate bar, lamington and pompom. The chocolate got crushed, so I blended the bits with milk and icecream and now I am drinking it right now. After much thought, I think I have a solution to your teasing. Tell Bernie Clifford your birthmark is made of chocolate, which means when you get to heaven you will be in charge of all the chocolate. This of course is a lie I do not like lies but in this case I think it will be of benefit. I wish I could be in charge of all the chocolate but, of course, I cannot because of my atheism. My neighbour lvy is also an atheist. She doesn't talk much but makes me very good soup on Sunday nights. She is partly blind and sometimes I find her hair in my soup. Eeugh! I do not tell her as Dr Bernard Hazelhof says this would be impolite.

Here is a list of what I eat on the other nights. Mondays - Glicks Potato Knish, Tuesdays - Yiddels Noodle Kugel, Wednesdays - Captain Salty's Fishstix, Thursdays - Yentls Cheezy Blintz and Fridays - chicken nuggets. On Saturday nights I create my own recipes. Last week I invented canned spaghetti hamburgers. Recipes are like mathematical equations. Dr Bernard Hazelhof told me you should never weigh more than your refrigerator and to never eat anything bigger than your head. I once ate a watermelon bigger than my head but not all at once. Do you have any weight loss suggestions? My Overeaters Anonymous meetings don't seem to be working and just make me tense. It would be good if there was a "Fat Fairy". She would be a bit like the Tooth Fairy but would suck out your fat.

Ivy says she is only a "little bit" blind but I think she is very blind. She should get a cane like other vision-impaired people. She could make the end pointy and collect rubbish at the same time. I think I will write a letter to the Mayor and suggest this. He will be very impressed. Ivy says she doesn't need a cane because she has a good sense of smell. She says she could find me with her eyes stapled shut. She says I smell like liquorice and old books. I think she smells like cough medicine and urine. I have never told her this as Dr Bernard Hazelhof said this would also be impolite.

People often think I am tactless and rude. I cannot understand how being honest can be...improper. Maybe this is why I don't have any friends of course except for you. A real friend has been one of my three goals in life. The other two are to own every Noblet and a lifetime supply of chocolate. Dr Bernard Hazelhof says it is good to have goals but not stupid ones like mine.

I have now run out of things to tell you. Please, write soon.

Your friend in America,

Max Jerry Horowitz

PS. Do not worry about not smiling. My mouth hardly ever smiles but it does not mean I am not smiling inside my brain.

PPS. Please find enclosed a frisbee, some Chocolate Pop Rocks, which you should eat with cola, and an illustration of a turtle from one of my National Geographics.

PPPS. Did you know that turtles can breathe through their anuses?

Mary Daisy Dinkle's 2nd letter to Max Jerry Horowitz

Dear Max,

I'm so excited you've wroted back. I don't think my parents like you so from now on send stuff to my neighbour Len Hislop at 26 Lamington Drive, Mt Waverley. He's old with no legs. They got chewed off in World War ll when some Japanese peoples kept him in a cage above piranhas. Piranhas are goldfish that have teeth. He's scared of outside, which is a disease called homophobia. He's started giving me 50 cents a week to get his mail. I'm saving to buy a castle in Scotland and marry a man called Earl Grey.

Do you get "The Noblets" in America? Well, my favourite Noblet is Vanity Noblet. He wants to be everyone's friend, even the boys'! In your letter, you said you had no friends. Well, neither do I. A-ha! Yesterday at school, Bernie Clifford weed on my spam sandwich and called me "poo face" 'cos of my birthmark. I wish I could peel it off like a bandaid. He also laughed 'cos I had no buttons. Ethel pecked them off and Mum couldn't thread a needle 'cos she'd been testing the sherry so she used pegs instead. When I got home, I climbed into my secret place till dinner time. The other kids also laugh at my haircut. Dad has to cut my hair because mum says real hairdressers sell your hair to Chinamen who stuff mattresses. My teacher, Mrs Pendergast, says I should smile more. I told my mum and so she drawed a big smile on me. I don't think Mrs Pendergast likes me anymore.

I better go now. My tears are smudgling my words.

Your friend in Australia,

Mary Daisy Dinkle.

PS. Have you ever been teased? Can you help me?

PSS. I've never been hang gliding before or been a "commune-ist" but would love a frisbee and your recipe for chocolate hotdogs.

PSSS. I'm sending you some Australian chocolate, a pompom I made and a cake called a lamington, which I was meant to eat for lunch. Have you ever been teased?

Max Jerry Horowitz 1st letter to Mary Daisy Dinkle

Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle,

Thank you for the letter, which I opened and read at 9.1 7pm after my Overeaters Anonymous class. I am trying to lose weight because my psychiatrist, Dr Bernard Hazelhof, says a healthy body equals a healthy mind. Ooooh! He says my mind is not that healthy. Your drawing is an interesting visual portrayal of yourself. I have never met anyone from Australia.

Firstly, I will answer your question. Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes. So this is where babies come from in America.

I share my home with a fish, some snails, whom I have named after famous scientists... ..a parakeet called Mr Biscuit and, finally, a cat called Hal. "Hal" is an abbreviation for halitosis, from which he suffers. He followed me home after a gang of children shot his eye out with a beebee gun. Do you have a pet kangaroo? When I was born, my father left my mother and me on a kibbutz. She shot herself with my uncle's gun when I was six. Do you like chocolate hotdogs? I invented the recipe for them and can send it to you. When I was young, I invented an invisible friend called Mr Ravioli. My psychiatrist says I don't need him anymore so he just sits in the corner and reads. Last week I picked up 128 cigarette butts. People are always littering in New York. I do not understand why people break laws. Butts are bad because they wash out to sea and fish smoke them and become nicotine dependent. I am just joking because, of course, it is impossible for a cigarette to remain lit underwater. Also, fish do not have pockets to keep cigarette lighters in.

I am 44 years old and have 8 tracksuits the same colour and size. I weigh 352 lb... Ooooh! ..and am as tall as a 6-foot tree. I enjoy entering the lottery and have chosen the same numbers for 9 years. Those numbers are 3... 5... 6... 9... 11... and 12. Are you a winner? Or a loser?

I have had many different jobs during my life. My first job was collecting subway tokens in the subway. My second job was at Yiddel's Gourmet Kosher Supplies where I worked at the machine that made pre-packaged noodle kugels. I was born Jewish and used to believe in God but I've since read many books that have proven God is just a figment of my imagination. People like to believe in God because it answers complicated questions Iike where did the universe come from, do worms go to heaven... do worms go to heaven... ..and why do old ladies have blue hair? Even though I'm an atheist, I still wear my yarmulke as it keeps my brain warm. My third job was for a company that printed logos on novelty items. I worked at the frisbee printing machine. A frisbee is a circular plastic disc that people throw at each other. It is like a boomerang but it does not come back. My fourth job was when I was called up for jury duty. I didn't get paid much but got free cookies and coffee. Jurors are outstanding members of the community who haven't murdered anybody. I made it to the short list for a trial where a man killed all his friends at his own surprise birthday party. Unfortunately, I didn't get selected because they found out I'd been a mental patient at one point. Have you ever been hang gliding? My fifth job was as a garbage collector. I got to clean up after litterbugs and didn't have to talk to anybody. Sometimes I used to pretend I was an intergalactical robot. This is 911. Your call has been placed in a queue. One time the police took me in for questioning but let me go when they decided I wasn't a threat to anybody except myself. The sixth job I had was for the United States Army in the stationery supply department. Because I am good with numbers I had to work out how many ballpoint pens the Army needed. One day they did a security check and asked whether I was a member of any radical groups. I told them I was a member of the New York Science Fiction Fan Club. They said this didn't count but dismissed me anyway. Fortunately, I did not remember to tell them I was once a communist. Have you ever been a communist? Have you ever been attacked by a crow or similar large bird? When I was 9, a crow attacked me on my way to school. I had to have three stitches and in spring I now wear a helmet with eyes I have painted on. People laugh at me when I wear my helmet. I'm not sure why. People often confuse me but I try not to let them worry me.

New York is a very busy and noisy place. I would prefer to live somewhere much quieter Iike the moon. I don't like crowds, bright lights, sudden noises or strong smells. New York has all these especially the smells. I often wear nose and ear plugs when I go outside. It helps keep me calm. I find humans interesting but I have trouble understanding them. I think, however, I will understand and trust you. You appear very happy and I think you would smell like a shrimp as I know Australia has a lot of shrimps. Can you speed-read? I have taught myself to read two pages at once one eyeball per page.

I have to go now even though I have not told you about my 7th job, in a condom factory. Write back soon.

Your American friend,

Max Jerry Horowitz.

PS. Please find enclosed a photo from one of those booths.

PPS. Thank you for the Cherry Ripe and I am glad you like chocolate as much as I do. I have never eaten sweetened condensed milk but I will try some this week.

PPPS. I have never used a condom.

Mary Daisy Dinkle's 1st letter to Max Jerry Horowitz

Dear Mr M Horowitz,

My name is Mary Daisy Dinkle     and I am 8 years old, 3 months and 9 days.     My favourite colour is brown     and my favourite food is sweetened condensed milk     followed closely by chocolate.     I have a rooster called Ethel that looks like this.     He doesn't lay eggs but will one day.     My mother likes smoking, cricket and sherry     and my father likes playing in his shed with dead birds. 

 Where do babies come from in America?     Do they come from cola cans?     In Australia they are found in beer glasses.     Here is a drawing of me.     I can't draw ears proper but I'm good at teeth.     It would be great if you could write back and be my friend. 

Yours "sincerealy", 

Mary Daisy Dinkle

PS. I hope you like the chocolate bar I'm also sending.     It's called a Cherry Ripe.

Mary and Max

Synopsis:

Mary and Max is a simple tale of pen-friendship between two different people; Mary Dinkle, a chubby lonely eight year old girl living in the suburbs of Melbourne, and Max Horovitz, a 44-year old, severely obese, Jewish man with Asperger's Syndrome living in the chaos of New York.

Spanning twenty years and two continents, Mary and Max's friendship survives much more than the average diet of life's ups and downs. Mary and Max's story is innocent but not naive, as it takes us on a journey that explores friendship, autism, taxidermy, psychiatry, alcoholism, where babies come from, obesity, kleptomania, sexual difference, trust, copulating dogs, religious differences, agoraphobia and much much more.

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I thought that claymated films are only for children. Little did I know that it can also use to depict stories of life, especially of friendship.. I didn't take the film seriously at first but as the story goes on, as I listen to the narration of how Mary and Max became acquainted with each other, I got hooked. It even left me into tears.

I admired how two people of different continent, religion, beliefs in life, age and a lot other differences, conspired and shared each other's goals in life. I love what Max's ultimate life goal is: chocolates. These two has their own share of indifferences towards the society: afraid not to be accepted, to be bullied, to be loved even by their own family. In the end, they themselves found the solution on how they can overcome their fears: rejection, anxiety, and that is by loving themselves first. That the journey in life depends on the path you'd like to take.

Are You Being Cheated?

You finally meet somebody to love and to cherish. Your dream about the wedding dress, making you a princess, admiration of the bridegroom and all the guests, demonstrating your enviable hour-glass figure, comes true finally.

Have you already thought your future life over? A country house, lovely babies to look after? How to make your still-loving-and-hoping heart forget about it? You are absolutely crushed by the situation. But what is to be done, if your Prince Charming is just cheating on you? Isn’t it better to be in blissful ignorance, or to face the problem and tackle it? It’s up to you, but your aching heart is silent. Emotions... nothing but emotions.

But what made you sure, that you are cheated on (except the case, when you catch your cheating boyfriend/cheating girlfriend “on the scene of crime”)? They say, the most tormenting thing in cheating is suspicion.

What are the signs of cheating? Well, it depends. You have been knowing each other not for the first year, or you’re living together for a long time, you know all the habits and tastes of your partner, there’s already a lot of routine in the relationships, and you don’t even remember how it felt in the beginning. You’ve been feeling very comfortable, but suddenly you may find out that something doesn’t seem right or just different. In fact that’s the sign number one. So is he/she cheating on you?

Being too suspicious is also wrong. But there are some signs of a cheating partner that are quiet obvious. Yes, it’s the lipstick on the shirts, cheeks or anywhere else, smell of a perfume, which is not yours. Slim cigarettes or any other things forgotten in the car, whispering in the cell-phone talks, the unknown phone numbers or even addresses, notes, letters, e-mails, sms, extra-work, extra-miles, odd explanations of the absence or phone switched off, strange credit cart receipts, and so on, and so forth.

Are there any special signs of cheating? What makes us suspect? Less attention and time devoted to us? Or visa versa – as if your partner is redressing a wrong? More care about he/her himself/herself? New sexy underwear? Strange smell? Alien things? Have you noticed some coldness in relationships?

Cheating partners always do show those signs in behavior in more or less obvious way. For instance, a cheating girlfriend can start a sudden diet, or go to a fitness club, go on buying new clothes, probably of a more sexy style than usually. A cheating boyfriend, on the other hand, may not be going crazy about his appearance as women do, but still can show more attention to what he looks like.

Changing habits, tastes, which have been the same for years, point on cheating partners. Also cheating may start with paying attention to the things they never cared about or were interested in. But that doesn’t always mean that he or she is cheating. That’s the sign of some strong external influence. Changes in the relationships between the partners should make anyone become aware of that something is happening. Cheating partners may become more attentive and nice, or, on the contrary, indifferent and aggressive; they can start giving sudden gifts trying to decrease the guilt they feel inside; or they can find permanent faults in the behavior of their second halves, blaming in such a on them their own relations on the side.

All these give heartache, and pain, and suffering… Do you hesitate if it’s right to ask bluntly? Talk to your partner. Then take a decision.

Can we explain cheating partners? Why? Is your cheating boyfriend is crazy about beautiful women? Is he a primitive womanizer? Or, maybe, cheating partners are getting fed up with the present way of life and looking for the new? The beginning of your ‘love story’ is the most important phase. Did your partner tell you about his love of seducing, or you planned your future family life together? Here is the core of the problem. Maybe, you were so carried away by your dreams, that didn’t want to hear about his desire to be free?

How not to drive yourself and your partners to cheating?

Always remember, that any problem is easier to prevent, than to solve its’ consequences. What kills your feelings? Sex is wonderful, but it has to be given much more than that, when two people live together. And only you have to find some way out of the situation.

The basis to the relationship must be 100 % trust in each other’s love. So, respect your partner’s wishes and interests. Give him/her a bit of liberty. Do not dissolve in your partner totally and absolutely. Have your own occupations and interests.

Give yourself, and even your partner, the adequate space. With love there should never be such a word as ‘habit’. To find the ‘right’ person – who is 100 % physically and mentally attractive – is like finding a diamond in a coal mine.

Treasure him/her! Never take the person you love for granted! Try to brighten his/her day with a word, a kiss, making love on the spur of the moment. Be fabulous and exciting, loving and wise.

Letting Go

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves. It's easy to form an attachment to people and things. When you've formed an attachment to people and things, it can be a very painful experience and feeling when you realized that it's time to let go. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain.However, there are times where you or that person has changed to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the relationship or friendship, so that each of you can fulfill your life path.

Letting go of your past and memories are also extremely hard. Even though old memories can be tormenting, yet you might hold on to the past and refuse to move forward. However, by refusing to let go of the painful past, it'll serve as a roadblock to love.Letting go of your old self and the process of letting the new you emerge can be one of the scariest experiences in your life. But by leaving behind your old self and taking a leap of faith into the unknown, it might just reveal what you are truly capable of becoming.

Relationship

Relationships are always a difficult terrain to navigate.

As a woman, we spend hours pondering- alone or with our girlfriends- the intricacies of the human heart. We always hope and pray that the next generation will get it better than we did.

I pray that every girl will believe that hope does spring eternal, and even if our heart has been broken a few times, we can always put the pieces back together, and make it right the next time around.

Take your time. Don't rush and don't just "settle." If it's part of His plan, God's best awaits you out there.

To The Man I Will Someday Love

Dear You,

I will admit that sometimes I really do wonder if you exist.

There is a part of every little girl's heart that envisions her prince charming. At age three, it is usually of a man who can save her from the wrath of an evil stepmother, wake her from eternal slumber or give her that true love's kiss.

In elementary school, he becomes the boy with the least cooties, the one who's willing to cross the playground to share his Oreos even if it makes him a target for the week of all other boys.

Come high school, it's that boy you stand with at prom, who your father stared down at the door, who provided you with an experience complete with photos you will cringe at a decade later, a corsage that yellows in the refrigerator, and a faded memory of a night that seemed almost too magical to be real.

Nineteen years into this life, however, and still unwilling to give my heart away, I am still that same girl who hopes for her prince charming. And although I wonder why it has taken you this long to sweep me off my feet and whisk me off to your palace on horseback, I know that it is probably because meeting you will be better than any fairytale I could've read as a kid.

A couple of heartbreaks and a few years wiser though, I will admit that there are times when I question your existence. Because I have yet to meet the guy who makes me hear songs like "All My Life" or "A Whole New World" in my head when I see him does not mean I don't hope that it'll ever happen.

I may already know you or may still meet you someday- something I leave completely up to God because I'm pretty sure our story will be epic.

However, I can't promise you that I'd make the world's most perfect princess. In fact I'll probably keep you on your toes and amuse you with my eccentricities- there are a lot of them. I'll probably steal a bunch of you T-shirts and turn them into shirt dresses, or drive you slightly mad with my obsessive compulsivity and my need to fix your collar constantly.

I can promise to be your best friend however- that person you can rant to after a rough day, that hand you can hold when you get sad, or the person you can text when situations get awkward.

I'll probably mess up your hair sometimes and hug you for too long, but that'll only be because I absolutely adore you. I'll bury my head in your shoulder during scary movies and make you feel like superman when you kill those flying cockroaches that really shouldn't exist. I'll cook your favorite food on your birthday and try my best to make friends with your mom.

I'll respect your nights-out with the boys and make you seem like the perfect guy to my barkada. I'll watch basketball or soccer games with you, and not complain when you cheer too loudly at the TV set.

I'll know the difference between giving you space and being constantly there for you- even if it means sitting and playing video games with you or taking hot chocolate runs when it rains.

I'll listen to your music and we'll go on epic adventures together- seeing the world, taking awesome pictures, eating awesome foods, and never running out of things to tell each other along the way.

I won't be waiting for you to sweep me off my feet and take me on a magic carpet ride, because I know I won't need anything like that to fall for you- I will love you for you.

You will be that someone to make goofy faces with in pictures, to lace fingers with when I'm lonely, and to take long walks under the stars with on the beach.

You'll be the guy who takes me that way I am- and will laugh as I burst into Disney song or pick out pink wallpaper.

You'll be that someone I envision a future with- us filling out visa forms as we travel the universe, picking out our first dog together and arguing about what to name it, or being snap-happy stage parents in our preschooler's annual mini-plays. And I keep hoping that maybe someday when we find each other, you will become that someone whose smile I wake up to on the morning and that last one I speak to every night.

So to the man I know does exist, and who will help me maybe make sense of the world someday, this man I can't wait to love. Please know that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But for now, I wait. Fingers crossed and palms held together, I hope that you're out there somewhere, waiting for me, too.

With the hope I will be yours for always,

Me

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taken from Roots and Wings, Cathy Babao-Guballa, Phil Daily Inquirer, Aug 8, 2010

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