Monday, January 10, 2011

Labtrip Na Naman

One lazy afternoon, habang abala ako sa pag-check sa aking FB account, naisip ko syang bisitahin. Tignan muli ang account nya. Alam kong madaming magre-react sa gagawin ko. Saka I already promised myself na last sulyap ko na sa kanya nung Dec 31. Pero.. Gusto ko lang malaman kung may mararamdaman pa ako. Kung naka-move on na ko, kahit konti! Feeling ko wala na o kung meron pa, konti na nga lang..

Dati kasi, whenever I tried checking his account especially when I saw his pictures, I can't help but to shed some tears out of missing him. Can't stand to look on his face kahit pictures lang yun. Lalo na pag nakikita ko yung picture nung girl nya. Naka-tag kasi sya. At 3 pictures pa yun (kabisado talaga ha!) Masakit. Gusto kong sambitin yung line ni Bea (Basha) sa One More Chance: 

" sana kaya kong sabihin na masaya ako para sayo, para sa inyo... sana kaya ko... pero hindi e umaasa pa rin akong sabihin mong ako pa rin, ako na lang, ako na lang ulit. "

Haayy.. 

So, nung nag-try akong silipin ang profile nya, I tried to hold my breath and my tears. Ayan, nakita ko na sya! Gwapo pa rin, maporma, killer smile, chinito eyes.. He's improved a lot. Gusto ko pa din sya pero di na ganun katindi. Then I checked his photos. All his photos. May hinahanap ang mga mata ko. Pero di ko na makita. Asan na kaya sya? Wala na? 3 pictures un ah.. Na-remove tag na yata.

Honestly, my first reaction: natuwa ako! Bakit wala na ung picture? Wala na sila? At ako pa rin pala ang gusto nya? At magkakabalikan kami? Hoping na naman...

Pero malay ko ba, madaming dahilan kaya wala na dun ung picture. Di dahil na-realize na gusto nya pa pala ako. Baka nga may iba na ulit syang girl. Masyado akong assuming.

Yan tuloy nag napala ko. Imbes na mejo naka-move on na, ayan na naman yung hoping factor.. Asa factor.. Expectations..

Imbes na focus na sana ako sa work, sa mga travel adventures at pampering myself.. nabulabog ako ng todo! Mas gusto ko pa na sana nakita kong andun pa yung picture para di nabuhay yung pag-asa ko. 

At sana di ko na lang pinilit yung sarili ko sa i-check pa yung account nya.. Wala sana 'tong feeling na 'to.. Maayos pa sana ang buhay ko.. Hmp!




4 comments:

  1. at sana ay tuluyan ka ng maka move on...yung sketch mo ..expectations from reality..parang iceberg lang diba? ang kabuuan ng iceberg ay nasa ilalim...ang katotohanan...ahw..hehe wala lang

    ReplyDelete
  2. i share the same thing sayu. nakuntento na di ako sa pasilip silip (pero di boso ha. sa account nya). Torture man nating sabihin pero ganun talaga pag nagmahal. Eventually we will learn to move on.... in the right time....

    Keep blogging..

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Sendo: lahat naman ng nasaktan ay laging looking forward na maka-move on. di nga lang natin alam kung kelan. at kung gusto na natin talagang magmoveon, always look on the realities of life. no more room for expectations and assumptions.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Ahwod: i agree.. hahanap-hanapin pa rin natin ang nakaraan pero dapat may hangganan. di panghabang buhay na maninirahan sa nakalipas na.

    ReplyDelete

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