Tuesday, September 21, 2010

On Being Single

Too often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment,which is usually "happiness" right now. The irony of their impatience isthat only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with thegood do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile. I have ablessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift ofbeing single.

For most of us twenty something young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with its own set of expectations on how we should live life.The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, findthe love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and havekids. But the thing is, noteveryone sees their dreams come true in the same way. In this article, Ishall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single.

The Art of Contentment.

For most of us, being single will be more of a phasethan a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art ofcontentment. Someday, I'm sure most of us will fall in love and get married.But the thing is, love will always be tested.Someone more handsome, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would comealong. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person,chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosenone. Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that youtake what life gives you, good or bad, you're willing to see it through.

It means you don't walk away every time things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance, understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have. Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for solong to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.

A Time to Know Yourself Better.

Being single is a time of your life when youcan get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interests andpassions without having to ask another person's approval. It is a phase whenyou can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents,and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself tosurprise you. Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you'restill romantically unattached. It's all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realizethat you are not, and never for one moment, was alone. Try to get to knowyourself first before you try to get to know other people. To be truly loved means to be known and acceptedfor who you are. How do you expect other people to know you and to love you,when you don't know who and what you really are?

A Choice between Good and Best.

Sometimes the dilemmas we face are notbetween what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's betweengood and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who isgood for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, orfeel magic to know who's best for you. Theheart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario todecide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time willeventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitablepartner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankfulfor, because being single means ourhearts have yet to choose the best one for us.

Almost a Non-committal.

Jane Austen once wrote, that it is a truthuniversally acknowledged that a single man (or in our times a woman), inpossession of a good fortune is in search of a spouse (just to bepolitically correct). Well, that was what the old school wanted us tobelieve in. Married life is a path most of us would take, however, it is notthe only path there is. Relieve yourself of the pressure and stop making every single, straight guy friend a prospect.You have no business "entrapping" them and asking (which is more like"putting a gun in the head") them of their exclusive attention, if you'renot ready for commitment yourself. Sometimes, when you spend too much timetrying to find a boyfriend, you normally end up marrying the first loser who comes to your door.Take your time, the world will wait. Being married doesn't guarantee that itwill make your life happy. It doesn't guarantee anything at all. Sometimes,it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life evenmore miserable. Without the right intention, the emotional maturity,financial security and of course, unwaveringlove, you're better off unattached.

Living Life.

Don't put your life on hold for Mr. Right but don't let it waste away with Mr. Wrong. Life is about things that you do and happen toyou everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but neverdid, or things that you think would happen in thefuture. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up,trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date. Allow life to surprise youwith it's most wonderful blessings.

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