He'd been gone for a while and I know he's no longer coming back. But I'm still patiently waiting and earnestly hoping for him.
I've looked for all the possibilities of seeing us together again. But I was a failure. I haven't detached myself yet from the people and things that has in relation to him. Because I still want him badly.
I know it's hurting and so freaking tiring. I have no more tears to cry. I need to free myself from his memories. I want to drop from hanging on his thoughts. I've been in this trap for too long. It ain't that hard to escape. I can only if I want to.
Maybe now is the time to stop. And I'm the only one who can put an end to my illusions. It's very evident that it's going nowhere. He's with somebody. I should be thankful that someone's taking care of him, loving him.
Before I welcome the new year, I hope that I could banish this feeling. No more ill-feelings. No more pain and hatred. No more thoughts and memories of him. I hope I could breathe freely for the first time on the very first day of the new year. And eventually, I can say I've moved on.
To have moved on doesn't necessarily mean to have someone new in my life. I maybe alone, but definitely not lonely. After all, being alone won't make me less of a person. :)
I am looking forward to enjoy my life the way I see it, get all the things I want, achieve all the goals I've set, bringing back the old me with my family and friends. I would search for my true passion and my real identity. I want to love myself even more, so others would love me.
I'd better say thanks to you, Leo Belarmino.. For I have met you, became my friend and my lover.. For you've brought me happiness. You've made me believe on what I can do and aspire for my ambitions. You've praised me for my works, you've been proud of me with all my achievements. You've taught me how to be independent and strong. You've given me more than I expected. I owe you much.
I've loved you much. Thanks to you.